McMasterson's Multiversal Calculus

Difference between revisions from 2009/08/10 01:54 and 2009/08/10 01:50.
By: [Sir Aldous Juniper]

Those of you who are well versed in the science of mathematics would be familiar with that branch known as calculus. I, personally, have concentrated my own education on the more liberal arts, so I know that "calculus" is Latin for "pebble", but the actual mathematical principles to it are Greek to me (apart from the fact that I am fluent in both the ancient and modern variations of this tongue).

However, McMasterson himself was not actually a mathematician, but a first-year arts student, who was expelled from [Quincy University] for plagiarising a history essay before he managed to complete his BA. He called his theory "Multiversal Calculus" in an attempt to make what was pure speculation (also known as complete BS) sound scientific. The fact that McMasterson's made-up theory turned out to be entirely true had widespread ramifications for the development of time travel, the invention of [Thirty-Seven] and many other technological advancement of our age.

McMasterson developed his theory for an essay on the [Backhand Theory of Economics]. He was scrabbling together the essay the day it was due, while he was half-drunk and completely stoned. He sat and wrote whatever crap he could think of, until he reached the required word count of 2000 words, printed it out and handed it in. Of course, it had absolutely no relevance to the essay's topic and he failed the assignment but, recognising some of the terms used, the economics tutor showed the essay to a quantum physics instructor who saw that it was a major breakthrough. McMasterson's genius was recognised and the paper was published in every reputable scientific journal in the known world, and the theory was built upon, revolutionising physics, mathematics and the culinary arts.

McMasterson himself fell into obscurity following his expulsion. His last known whereabouts was working as a tour guide at the world's largest spool of thread in Jamesburg, New York.

'''See: [Backhand Theory of Economics], [Quincy University], [Thirty-Seven]'''

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