Oscar Wilde

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By: Kevin Alder Rux

Volumes have been written on the live and times of the world-famous raconteur and libertine Oscar Wilde. Of his first career as a man of letters little needs to be said, of course, apart from a general expression of sorrow for his mistreatment by the English prison system. Upon retiring to Paris, it is believed that he encountered the Crystal Something or Other, which restored his youth. ("I feel like a seventeen-year old boy", he was reported to have said, which admittedly can be taken multiple ways.)

His restored youth appears to have slightly unbalanced the man, leading to an extended stay in a Milan Sanitarium, which in turn led to a marriage, largely of convenience, with one of the nurses there.

Wilde next surfaced, under a transparent pseudonym, as a filmmaker in Canada, where he directed such works as "Citizen Hearst", a celebrated version of "Othello" in which he played the title role opposite Zeppo Marx's Iago, and The Quarrymasters's musical adaptation of "Don Quixote". On his 100th birthday, he 'revealed' his identity, already known to anyone who was anyone, and, having slowly resumed the aging process, is currently semi-retired and writing his extensive memoirs.

See Also: Crystal Something or Other, The, Hillary Clinton, The Quarrymasters, Zeppo Marx