Quarren

By: Sir Aldous Juniper

It's not certain when Quarren's abduction campaign began but they were first documented during the Fimbulwinter of 1949. Details of who, or what, Quarren are are sketchy at best, mostly put together from the diary of Frank Zappa in entries dated from the mid 21st century. Zappa's diary was, of course, found amongst the ruins of Pompeii, where it is speculated the time-traveller may have met his demise.

Zappa's diary entries refer to Quarren as "bugs" and "critters" and he claims that they are attempting to subjugate humanity through the "disappearing" of important historical figures from the time-line. Zappa claims that his own temporal interference was done to save the world from this threat.

Although not explicitly stated, it is assumed from Zappa's description that Quarren are some species of alien invader, and that they are due to arrive on Earth some time in the next couple of decades. Zappa's decription of the enslavement of the entire human race makes the barbarism of the Mongols look like afternoon tea at Grandmother's house.

I, for one, am hitching a ride on a Raptor Array through the nearest Lowenstein-Wagner Anomaly so I can get the hell out of this century before the bastards arrive.

See: Barbarism of the Mongols, The, Fimbulwinter of 1949, Lowenstein-Wagner anomaly, Raptor Array, Zappa, Frank


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