This revision is from 2009/09/02 11:40. You can Restore it.

By Odd Starter

X. One single letter causes so much strangeness. It's story should probably be told before this convention closes. But don't blame me for the strangeness of this article - it's all X's fault.

You see, X was that super special compound that allowed for time travel. It's crystalline structure was perfect for maintaining temporal coherancy, even in the face of clear temporal paradox, and thus allowed people to go back in time and change history without worrying about the universe collapsing in on itself. X was thus directly responsible for the entire strange and elaborate history that we have been documenting during this conference. If it weren't for X, we'd probably have a much more coherant and far less silly history. I have tended to call this strange lack of seriousness of our history the X-Factor, but I'm routinely laughed off the stage when I try to popularise the term.

In this timeline, though, the amount of X running around has actually been very small, which is probably why there's been so little time travel this time around. The last known deposit of X was actually around Friar D'Angelini's neck as he went through the Lowenstein-Wagner Anomaly (apparently some of that unknown Messiah's miraculousness did rub off on Jacob's Ladder after all, and his vigil around the Ladder had converted his cross into an X-based alloy. A miracle indeed!). Oh, you've seen people everywhere claim to have refound X - The Mongolians, the Europeans, the Antarcticans, the Canadians, even the Patagonians once claimed to have made a X-based Beer (naturally, they called it XXXX. Also naturally, it didn't have a trace of X in it, but that didn't stop it from seriously selling). Zappa and Lenin even wrote a song about it while they were still The Quarrymasters, "Triple X".

And yet, noone else has managed the trick of making more of it. Time travel, it seems, is firmly out of our grasps nowadays, the last reserves of X used up in emergencies that seemed to involve stock market manipulation that noone thought anyone would notice. We're now firmly stuck in the present, waiting for the future to present itself, and it's very strange that it hasn't yet. Who knows? Maybe they're just biding their time. Maybe we aren't ready to time travel just yet. We broke the world once, perhaps we should think carefully about why we're going back next.

But between you and me? I think we can't possibly break history again. If it's this strange now, can you imagine how strange it'd be if we had to glue it back together again? I think we've reached the end, and the Universe just won't let us do anything so stupid again.

Then again, we are pretty stupid. I wouldn't count human stupidity out just yet.

Broken History Lexicon: ABC || DEF || GHI || JKL || MNO || PQRS || TUV || WXYZ